Love Aaj Kaal
It seems everyone
around me is in love. Wherever I go couples follow (or it may be the other way round).
Be it public transport, malls, restaurants or theatres ,I see love struck
people, walking or sitting hand in hand, continuously communicating through
gestures or simply by talking. Indian society is no more rigid like it used to
be. Girls and boys do not hesitate to openly confess about their relationship.
The cupid has done its work. It has made people fall in love. But are they
actually in love?
Love is innocent. Love
is kind. Love is pure. This is what I have been taught ever since I was a kid.
Seeing loving parents at home I thought love is always unconditional. It is not
selfish and is wants to see others happy. This picture of love was so amazing
that it became the ideal definition of love for me.
Today I find love is
different for different people. For some it lasts for few weeks or months. For
some it is nothing more than “give and take” relationship. Belonging to this
generation I understand and closely see the “21st Century
Relationships”. Love, now, has completely changed. It is more violent, abusive
and revengeful. It is all about making the other person feel intimidated. Love
has lost its strength. It is more of ego than just letting go things. The acid
attacks, rape cases, molestations are some of the examples where ego took over
love. I do not say that the accused love the victims. It is them who said that.
But they chose to destroy the other person’s life because they said no and they
could not take it. And they call it love. Well that is obsession. Get it right.
I do not only blame the
males out there. Girls have equally distorted the image of love. Dating rich
guys and then dumping them later, blackmailing their boyfriends, and treating
them like puppets is just so cool for some of them. And then this feminism. It does
not always work girls. You cannot harass a guy, abuse him or hit him if you do
not want the same things happening to you.
The cupid is sad for he
never thought the meaning of love would change so drastically. People hardly
respect their partner’s feelings, emotions, desires, space. There is no room
for individuality. The person has to do what he/she is told to do. One is
dominated by the other. One cannot wear what he/she wants to wear, has to talk
when the partner wants to talk. Sometimes a person becomes possessive and tries
to keep the other away from the rest. It seems confusing as to what actually
love is. Is love in today’s scenario all about curbing ones freedom and
changing the other person’s personality? Why cannot we just accept a person as
he or she is? Is it so necessary to be perfect in every manner? If one has to
pretend to be someone else then how is love truthful? And why, on the other
hand, the other person accepts to change him or herself. Love does not teach us
to lose our dignity. Neither does it allow anyone to underestimate someone so
close. Love is not about owning anyone. It is all about loving someone.
Playing with other’s
feelings, making the other person feel miserable, breaking hearts is fun for
some people. If you are seriously in
love with someone, you are considered old fashioned. And if one is not comfortable getting
physically too close then that person becomes old school. Like seriously? Is
not love all about seeing others happy?
Is not love all about loving others? Is not love all about giving
respect? Is not love all about care? Is not love all about treating everyone
equally? And is love all about getting “close” ?
Earlier the bond shared
by a girl and a boy was strong enough to keep them happy and content. They did
not meet up regularly, did not talk over the phone and were not comfortable
being too open about their relationship. Like us they did not go out on dates,
for dinners, parties, etc. They were not even lucky to have a broad minded
society and family like many of us have
today.
If we talk about people
staying in different cities, that is, people having long distance relationship,
they suffered more due to the distance. With no technology the couples could
not keep in touch regularly. There were no mobile phones, no computers, no
laptops, no internet, no video calls, no facebook, no whatsapp, nothing. But
still they were happy together.
Today, after having so many
tools for communication and ways of being in contact, we have more number of failed relations. Couples fighting over petty
issues make me wonder how importance we give to such useless, unworthy things
over love. How easily we give up on something that at one point meant
everything to us. How can we let go something so good, so special for the sake
of our ego?
Are people really in
love? Or is it just infatuation? Do they really want to be in serious
relationship or they just want to be together because that is what is in
fashion? I fail to understand whether people have lost the patience that is
required in love or they just do not want love to be their priority. It is
about respecting one’s values, religion, culture, family, likings and many
more.
For what I think of
love is, I may be called “old school” or considered “typical” but I do not
care. I never have and will never give importance to what others say or think.
For me love is above everything. For me love is God, love is family and love is
“that one person”.
Every individual emote
and express differently. Therefore, each and every person has different ways of
loving people. I do not say I am the epitome of love. Love may hold a
completely different meaning to someone. But everyone should be able to
differentiate between love and affection and should keep the above discussed
points in mind. And if in doubt, read
the article again and again and ask yourself
“ is this love?”
Writer: Zinia Karmakar
(Email : zkarmakar@yahoo.in)
Model: Ankita & Subhajit
Photographer: Ayan Mukherjee
